So here I sit, in my caravan with my baby girl asleep on the mattress beside me. Outside the sky is so dark that the life in front of me is unseen. I look out through flyscreen at the shadows of my older two children as they read in their tent opposite.
On the morning of 15th February we drove out the gate of the security of our rental home to a new life beyond four walls. A life of our twelve foot caravan that contains all our belongings and a tent. Beauty, our beloved Labrador x Kelpie, panted excitedly as we hit the road. A life of adventure lay ahead for all of us. This is not the first time we have lived like this but it does not kerb the uncertainty and wonderment of it all. Society has us believe that we need that house. The possessions and the security of a life of dust and clutter. Over the past few weeks we have thrown out all that we do not use daily. What a clean up!
During this clean up we have come to realise the amount of money we spend on items that we really did not need. Items that we look at once and place in the cupboard or on the shelf. Items that we just had to have…….. at the time. Carload after carload of our ‘junk’ was taken and donated to the op shop to become someone else’s treasure……someone’s must have. As we cleaned we reassessed our lives. There where many discussions on the meaning of life. Of the wastage of our world and resources, and how we as a family unit can make changes to our lives for the better.
So, as I sit here and wonder what is on the road ahead I start to feel a sense of achievement. I have already taught my children to look seriously at their lives and what is important. That the value of that toy, that vase, that ornament is far more than that of ‘I must have’. There are issues around all we do and have. Money, environment, resources, self possession, self gratification and desire are but just a few. Australia is a lucky country. We take for granted what we have. As the years go on the more we get the more we want. We consume and we throw out and we consume again. We continue to take but we do not give. I have been blessed with three of the most amazing children. They discarded their unused belongings without complaint or hesitation, excited about the adventures that lay ahead. At no time have they complained about the new crazy idea that mum has this time, maybe they have just grown use to it.
They say writing is therapy for the soul. As I write this I feel the hesitation and wonderment that embraced me in the beginning dissolve to that of elation and bliss. I travel through my life feeling blessed to be given the opportunity to experience all I do. When times are tough and I am down I feel the pressure like all and I question if I can go on but for me these are short periods of time as I look at what I have and where I have come, knowing that no obstacle is too big to be climbed, that as long as my children are beside me and we are healthy life will continue with lessons of strength and unity. Each day I become a better person than I was the day before. I become a step closer to the person I want to be. Who is the person I want to be? This really is a question that cannot be answered as I myself do not know. I want to be the best person I can. I want to be true to me and true to my children. I want to be independent and strong, adventurous and proud, loving and nurturing but free and wild.
Today, Tomorrow, next week or next month are unknown to all of us. We are on this road of life traveling along at varying speeds. Some days zoom along with bliss and kindness as though we are floating on a cloud, others throw us around as though we are in a sea of storms. I suppose I sit here by choice. A choice that was partly made for me but partly made by me. When I was faced with the decision to stay in my rental house struggling to pay my rent and bills with a quality of life that allowed me to do nothing I felt I needed to make drastic changes toward a life of independence. For nine years I had struggled to make ends meet knowing that there was a better life out there but not quite being able to reach it. For years I budgeted to the cent trying to make the money meet the bills so that we could eat meals for the week. Taking from one bill to pay the other. Going around in circles financially from week to week seeing no end to the constant struggle. Wishing I could get the kids a haircut and take them to the movies….just once.
In November 2009, with Christmas drawing closer, I began to feel depressed about how I was living and struggling daily.Each day when I turned on the television or radio I would feel worse, listening to the doom and gloom that the media reported. The financial crisis, the world under attack by both environment and man, the dig dirt and scoop the shit on whoever and whatever we can. As I sat in my car doing my weekly drive to buy the groceries I snapped. Enough was enough.The clogs in my creative brain started whirling. Surely there are others who feel the same as me. In a world where times are tough for most the media are only making the grind of life more miserable. I remember making the comment to my family that what is needed is a magazine of positivity. Surely the media can report of positive news and lift the spirits of society. Surely this dig dirt attitude is not required. As far as I am concerned the mainstream media have a lot to answer to when it comes to adding to the weight of the shoulders of society. With negativity, hatred and stress around us all day it is no wonder we do not smile at each other, are quick to judge and condemn and do not give credit when it is due. Negativity creates negativity and as long as this world continues to promote the bad and report on the evil we will continue going down the path of doom and gloom. Positivity creates positivity. To turn the table on the negativity is to lift our spirits and give hope. To create a society that opens its arms to one another and lends a helping hand. A society who are not suspicious of one another and help when times are tough. Who give instead of taking and offer instead of watch. There is no ideal world and there is no way of removing all hatred and violence as this is part of our human nature but we can soften the blow.
Over the next few days the internal clogs of my mind continued to turn. Within a few weeks I had made my decision. Having undertaken a freelance journalism course and having previous completed other writing course, I was going to do it. I was not going to wait for someone else to make the change within the media that is required. It was time I made changes for myself and for my family. Not only would this make me feel more positive about myself but it may also be the financial freedom that I had been looking for. I mentioned my idea to my eldest daughter, Samantha, who was studying a diploma in photography. Her enthusiasm and encouragement was the extra push I needed. She was on board as my co-founder and photographer. Good Gabble was born.
How the name Good Gabble came about is one I cannot explain. It just came to me and sounded right. The idea of a newzine came about when I felt a need for a non conventional format. Not being one to follow the strict rules of mainstream society, choosing instead to live life outside the square, I did not want to produce a magazine that followed the ‘rules’ of the media. I felt flexibility was required in order to meet the needs of all readers. We are individuals with different likes, dislikes and preferences. What works for one does not work for another. The word newzine was one that was born within my own subconscious as I felt a need to combine all media formats, newspaper, newsletter and magazine. Since searching the internet for newzines I have seen the word written minimally so cannot take credit for its use. I have found though that it is not a word that society is use to or refers to as a form of print as all question what it is when I mention it. Maybe a wrong choice or maybe not. Definitely one that gets people questioning and asking and provokes interest.
Good Gabble took off with full steam. Samantha and myself hit the computer and our first issue began to take place. Each day as we work together on our venture we feel good about ourselves and positive about what lays ahead.The support from writers and business’s has been amazing.When we have hit a brick wall it has soon been solved without much stress from ourselves. Sometimes things in life just fall into place and Good Gabble is one of them. I am one who believes that all things happen for a reason. I also believe that we are in control of our own destiny. Although things happen for a reason we need to make the choice to help them happen. At the time of the idea of Good Gabble coming to me I was doing a little soul searching seeking for answers to the financial and life situation I was in. I had been unhappy for some time and felt stuck in a rut. I had two choices. One was to sit back, talk of my idea and let someone else do it, the other was to take action, throw myself into the deep end and give it a go. If you don’t try you will never know.
We started Good Gabble with no funds, just ideas and desire. Thus being why I am sitting in a caravan park in a small van with the kids in a tent and not sitting in a flash motorhome.This adventure is twofold. One to save a few extra dollars that can be sunk into the production of Good Gabble and the other to allow us to travel around Australia and promote our idea and newzine to all. Whilst doing this we also plan to learn and have fun.
Whilst renting and paying bills the money for Good Gabble was next to none. We believe in our newzine and what it stands for. We believe that if we make small sacrifices now then we will gain in the many ways in the end. Nothing comes to those who sit and wait, to those who want it all on a silver platter. You can complain all you want about your life and you can dream but if you don’t make changes, take chances and strive forward your life will never change. Living in our van is a small price to pay for the freedom we have, the financial independence we hope to find at the other end and the positivity we can spread to others. With only park fees to pay, no electricity or loo paper, no cleaning of a house and no desire to purchase the unneeded, as where do you put it, we can focus on our future and helping others. Being out and about daily we meet more people and find more opportunities to speak of our newzine, encourage interest and promote recognition of those on this vast land who are making a positive difference. There are other benefits to this style of living as well. As a family unit we are closer. We have always been close as, being home schoolers, we spend every day together but living like this involves cooperation and team work on a daily basis and allows us to share the wonders of nature and the world around us. With less housework and more time I am able to tune into the children and share activities and quality time. Of course there is the downfall of being exposed to the weather but a small price to pay for being together.
So our journey has begun.This is the story of the birth of Good Gabble Newzine by a women who felt a need to make a better life for her children and herself.It is also the story of a family, who united together, drive the road of life with all its unknown twists and turns.
